My dad told me to save 10% of every paycheck for my future.

Right now, my paycheck *is* 10% of what I need for my present.

My parents asked if I'm saving for a down payment.

I told them I'm saving for the societal collapse – feels more realistic.

I've been doing the work in therapy to develop healthier coping mechanisms,

but so far, my go-to coping mechanism is just telling people I'm doing the work in therapy.

I just got a raise, but it's all relative

because now I can afford ramen noodles twice a week instead of once