I asked my boomer friend for investment advice

He told me to buy a house, I told him I'd rather buy a Lambo, at least then I'd have a vehicle to sleep in

My manager told me to 'optimize my passion' for the company.

But honestly, my only passion right now is optimizing my sleep schedule.

I've been trying to practice self-compassion in therapy

but it's hard when my inner critic has a stronger Twitter presence than my inner peace

I've been doing the work in therapy to recognize my emotional triggers

now I can identify the exact moment I'm about to send a drunk text