🏆 Top Rated Jokes

Knock knock. Who's there? Isabelle.

What is blue but does not weigh very much?

I'm starting to think Valentine's Day is just a social experiment

We started planning our wedding with a simple vision: close friends, family, and a modest budget.

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

I went to the bakery and saw a pie with a face on it

Knock knock. Who's there? Cows go.

Our company's 'no meeting day' was so popular that

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

Why did Frosty the Snowman have kids

I went to the beach and saw a crab playing a guitar.

My daughter was doing her homework and came to me complaining. She said her pencil wasn't working and she couldn't write anything.

I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger...

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

I was feeling pretty sleepy this morning after staying up late last night. My son asked me why I looked so tired as I was pouring my coffee.

I went to the orchard and saw an apple tree with a ladder leaning against it.

I told my wife I was going to make a belt out of bread dough.

I took my cat to the vet, and they said it was having some vision problems.

They say diamonds are forever, and chocolate melts in your mouth, not in your hand...

I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away...

Why did the rose go to the party on Valentine's Day?

I've been dating a girl who's really into polyamory, and I have to say, it's been a real learning experience.

I've been taking classes to improve my thrusting technique, and my instructor says I have a lot of potential for deep development.

Why did the couple bring a magnet on their anniversary date?

I've been dating a sex therapist, and I have to say, she's always trying to get to the root of the problem.

So I was at the beach with my kids, and we saw a guy selling shells. He had all sorts of shells, from big conch shells to tiny clam shells. My kid asked him how he managed to collect so many

Why did the escort bring a ladder on her date?

My pottery instructor told me I really needed to work on my handling skills.

Why did the calendar get invited to all the parties?

¿Qué hace una taza en el gimnasio?

I once confided in my dad that I felt a bit lost, like some parts of my life just weren't working right.

What did the box of chocolates say to the candy inside on Valentine's Day?

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to be more adventurous in bed.

Why does this magnificent turkey have such an incredible pull on everyone at the table?

My manager said, 'We're a family here.'

We started planning our wedding with a simple vision: a beautiful venue, delicious food, and all our favorite people.

Why did Frankenstein's monster join a gym?

I bought a new pair of jeans that advertised 'invisible stretch technology.'

What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?

What's Santa's favorite type of music?

I have a strong dislike for elevators.

¿Por qué el banco fue a terapia?

Knock knock. Who's there? Dwayne.

My dad always said he could fix anything with a wrench and a little elbow grease.

My ideal Valentine's Day involves a long, loving relationship...

My girlfriend told me she wanted a man who was good with his hands, like a carpenter.

Why was the cranberry sauce so good at problem-solving?

My therapist told me I need to learn to 'sit with my feelings.'