🏆 Top Rated Jokes

Knock knock. Who's there? Isabelle.

What is blue but does not weigh very much?

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

Why did Frosty the Snowman have kids

I went to the beach and saw a crab playing a guitar.

My daughter was doing her homework and came to me complaining. She said her pencil wasn't working and she couldn't write anything.

I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger...

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

I was feeling pretty sleepy this morning after staying up late last night. My son asked me why I looked so tired as I was pouring my coffee.

I went to the orchard and saw an apple tree with a ladder leaning against it.

I told my wife I was going to make a belt out of bread dough.

I took my cat to the vet, and they said it was having some vision problems.

They say diamonds are forever, and chocolate melts in your mouth, not in your hand...

I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away...

Why did the rose go to the party on Valentine's Day?

I've been dating a girl who's really into polyamory, and I have to say, it's been a real learning experience.

I've been taking classes to improve my thrusting technique, and my instructor says I have a lot of potential for deep development.

Why did the couple bring a magnet on their anniversary date?

I've been dating a sex therapist, and I have to say, she's always trying to get to the root of the problem.

So I was at the beach with my kids, and we saw a guy selling shells. He had all sorts of shells, from big conch shells to tiny clam shells. My kid asked him how he managed to collect so many

Why did the escort bring a ladder on her date?

My pottery instructor told me I really needed to work on my handling skills.

Why did the calendar get invited to all the parties?

Why did the man get fired from the button factory?

Did you hear about the fire at the circus?

I tried to start a new business selling clocks, but I couldn't find the time.

My wife told me to buy a new calendar.

Knock knock. Who's there? Otto B.

Mi esposa me pidió que fuera más romántico, así que decidí llevarla a un lugar especial

Knock knock. Who's there? Knock

I spent all day making my dad's favorite meal for Father's Day, but when I presented it to him, he just smiled and said he was full from all the memories we've shared over the years.

I've been dating a girl who's a professional dominatrix, and she's always trying to make our relationship more exciting.

Do you have a map?

Why did the cranberry sauce go to the party?

I've been trying to adult by following boomer advice

Creating our wedding seating chart felt less like planning a party,

Why did the werewolf go to the therapist?

I've been trying to adult by creating a budget and tracking my expenses, but

What do you call a group of cows playing instruments?

¿Por qué la vaca fue a la fiesta?

Knock knock. Who's there? Taco.

My dad said he didn't need anything for Father's Day.

I've been dating a girl who's a sex therapist, and she's always trying to diagnose our problems in the bedroom.

What did the rose say to its Valentine?

Why did the turkey refuse to join the school band?