I'm starting to think that Valentine's Day is just a social experiment

to see how many people we can convince to pay triple for flowers and dinner

I've been trying to find the perfect Valentine's Day gift

but it's hard when the only person I'm in a relationship with is Netflix, and they already know my password

Why did the couple bring a magnet on their Valentine's Day date?

Because they wanted to attract some love

Valentine's Day is when everyone celebrates finding their 'better half'.

I'm celebrating my 'better *alone* half' – the one who gets the whole couch and doesn't have to share snacks.