Why did the flower shop run out of roses on Valentine's Day?

Because everyone wanted to bouquet their love!

Why did the coffee file a police report on Valentine's Day?

Because it got mugged by love

If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cute-cumber...

...but I'm really looking for a beet, because I heard they're good for your heart.

This Valentine's Day, while everyone's planning candlelit dinners and romantic getaways...

I'm planning an epic solo mission to the grocery store for half-price chocolate on February 15th.