Are you a Valentine's Day coupon?

Because you're redeemable in my heart, but unfortunately, you're also expiring soon if you don't go out with me.

My Valentine's Day plans involve a very deep, very passionate relationship...

...with an entire pizza I don't have to share.

Why did the chocolate go to therapy on Valentine's Day?

Because it was feeling a little melted under the pressure

I've started calling Valentine's Day something new

Singles Awareness Day, but that's just a fancy way of saying Tuesday