My daughter was doing her homework and came to me complaining. She said her pencil wasn't working and she couldn't write anything.

I told her, 'Well, if it's not working, it sounds like it's pointless!'

I've been reading a book about anti-gravity.

It's impossible to put down!

I'm a baker, and I'm feeling crumby today because I kneaded the dough, but it didn't rise to my expectations.

What do you call a sad strawberry?

A blueberry!