Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda pressing!

I went to the doctor and said I had a problem with my ears.

He said, 'Don't worry, it's just a hollow feeling.'

I took my kids to the bakery and we saw a big sign that said they were having a sale on bread

It was a loaf of deals

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity

It's impossible to put down