So I was visiting my friend who's a master carpenter, and he showed me his latest woodworking project - a beautiful wooden boat. He spent months crafting every detail, from the hull to the sail. As I was admiring his work, I asked him how he planned to propel it through the water.

He just smiled and said it was a 'shore' thing.

I'm a baker, and I'm feeling crumby about my career choices.

So I was at the beach with my kids, and we saw a guy selling shells. He had all sorts of shells, from big conch shells to tiny clam shells. My kid asked him how he managed to collect so many

and he said it was a shell of a job!

Why did the cat join a band?

Because it wanted to be the purr-cussionist.