I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

My son was helping me in the garden yesterday, and he dug up a bunch of really old, cracked pots. He asked me what we should do with all of them.

I told him we should just plant some thyme in them.

Why did the calendar get invited to all the parties?

Because it had so many dates!

Why did the stairs always get in trouble?

Because they were always up to something!