My financial advisor told me I really needed to diversify my assets.

I told him, 'Don't worry, I already have a very well-rounded portfolio.'

My career counselor said I needed to figure out how to get ahead in life.

I told her I thought I was already quite proficient at it.

I've been dating a girl who's a cartographer, and she's always trying to map out our relationship.

I guess you could say she's looking for a little more territory to explore.

I just had the worst oral sex of my life.

My dentist said I need to floss more.