I was feeling pretty sleepy this morning after staying up late last night. My son asked me why I looked so tired as I was pouring my coffee.

I told him, 'I guess I'm just feeling a little *depresso*!'

So I was visiting my friend who's a master carpenter, and he showed me his latest woodworking project - a beautiful wooden boat. He spent months crafting every detail, from the hull to the sail. As I was admiring his work, I asked him how he planned to propel it through the water.

He just smiled and said it was a 'shore' thing.

My bike is always tired because it's two-tired.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked surprised.