I took my mushroom to the party because

he was a fun-gi

So I was at the park with my kids, and we saw a guy playing fetch with his dog, but the dog wasn't bringing the ball back. Instead, it was just running around in circles, looking really confused. The owner was getting frustrated, so I decided to ask him what was wrong

and he said his dog was paws-itive it was a fetch-failure

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta!

I went to the ocean and saw a shell that was having an identity crisis

It was feeling a little shell-shocked