I'm a baker, and I'm feeling crumby today.

So I was watching a nature show with the kids about different kinds of trees, and we saw some really tall ones. My daughter asked me if all trees were good at remembering things.

I told her, 'No, only the ones with good mem-oaks!'

Why did the mushroom get invited to all the parties?

Because he's a fungi!

I'm trying to start a band, but it's been a real struggle to find a drumstick that's a cut above the rest.