Why did the clock get sent to the principal's office?

Because it kept tocking too much!

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing!

Your mom asked me to try and fix the coffee maker this morning, because it was really slow and sputtering. I tinkered with it for a bit, but it just wouldn't cooperate.

I guess it was still trying to perk up.

Why was the math book sad?

Because it had too many problems.