Why did the chocolate go to the Valentine's Day party?

Because it wanted to melt some hearts

Valentine's Day always makes me think of couples like competitive athletes...

...they spend all year casually dating, then on February 14th, it's suddenly the Olympics of romance.

I've been trying to find the perfect Valentine's Day gift

but it's hard when the only person I'm shopping for is my cat, and all she wants is tuna

I've come to realize that my love life is like a recipe for disaster.

It's got all the right ingredients: loneliness, disappointment, and a pinch of desperation.