What did the postage stamp say to the Valentine's Day card?

I'm stuck on you!

Valentine's Day is when everyone celebrates finding their 'better half'.

I'm celebrating my 'better *alone* half' – the one who gets the whole couch and doesn't have to share snacks.

Why did the couple's love for each other become a work of art on Valentine's Day?

Because it was a masterpiece of the heart

Why did the cookie go to the doctor on Valentine's Day?

Because it felt crumby and wanted a sweet diagnosis