My parents always told me to follow my dreams.

Now my dreams are just about affording groceries that aren't on sale.

My therapist told me I need healthier coping mechanisms.

So I started doom-scrolling for articles about healthy coping mechanisms.

I've been doing the work in therapy to improve my attachment style

Now I'm just anxiously attached to my therapist.

I asked my boomer friend for investment advice

He told me to buy a house, I told him I'd rather buy a Lambo, at least then I'd have a vehicle to sleep in