I took my cat to the vet, and they said it was having some vision problems.

I guess you could say it was having a paws-itive correlation between its eyesight and its purr-manent blindness.

Why did the mushroom get invited to all the parties?

Because he's a fungi!

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fsh!

Why did the coffee file a police report?

Because it got mugged