Our manager said we're a family here, which is why

I'm waiting for my yearly performance review to find out if I'm getting disowned or not

I've been reading self-help books to improve my mental health

but the only thing I've accomplished is organizing my bookshelf by recovery journey

I asked my parents for housing advice, and they said to just 'save up' and 'be patient',

which is like telling someone to 'just breathe' while they're drowning in student loans.

I asked my boomer friend for investment advice

He told me to buy a house, I told him I'd rather buy a Lambo, at least then I'd have a vehicle to sleep in