I asked my boomer dad for housing advice

He said 'just save up and put 20% down', which is like telling me to 'just buy a unicorn and ride it to work'

I've been trying to improve my emotional intelligence in therapy

but it's hard when my therapist charges by the hour to listen to me explain why I'm right

I've been trying to develop a self-care routine

but so far it just consists of buying face masks and calling it 'me time'

I just got a raise, but it's basically just an inflation adjustment

So now I can afford last year's lifestyle, congratulations to me