I asked my boomer friend for investment advice

He told me to buy a house, I told him I'd rather buy a Lambo, at least then I'd have a vehicle to sleep in

I'm trying to buy a house, but the market is crazy

I've got a better chance of winning the lottery than getting a mortgage with a payment that's less than my student loan

I've been trying to develop a self-care routine

but so far it just consists of buying face masks and calling it 'me time'

I suggested replacing our daily stand-up meeting with a simple email update

but my manager said that would 'kill the synergy' – code for 'I love hearing myself talk'.