I've been reading about the benefits of having a 5-year plan

but my rent is month-to-month, so that's about as far as I'm thinking

I was having an existential crisis about the future of humanity.

Then I remembered I have a group chat dedicated to complaining about rising gas prices, and suddenly everything felt a little more manageable.

My parents asked if I'm saving for a down payment.

I told them I'm saving for the societal collapse – feels more realistic.

I asked my boomer dad for advice on buying a house

He said 'just work harder and cut back on avocado toast', I said 'dad, I'm a freelance writer, my only income is from avocado toast reviews'