Are you a Valentine's Day cookie? Because you're the crumb to my heart and I dough-n't want to be without you.

Why did the rose go to the party on Valentine's Day?

Because it was a blooming good time

People always ask me what my significant other is getting me for Valentine's Day.

My significant other is Amazon Prime, and they're getting me whatever I put in my cart at 2 AM last Tuesday.

Is it hot in here, or is it just you?

Because my Valentine's chocolates are melting faster than my romantic expectations.