Valentine's Day always makes me think of couples like competitive athletes...

...they spend all year casually dating, then on February 14th, it's suddenly the Olympics of romance.

They say diamonds are forever, and chocolate melts in your mouth, not in your hand...

...but my preferred Valentine's gift is a streaming service that doesn't ask 'Are you still watching?' because it *knows* I am.

I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away...

...trying to read the tiny print on this candy heart.

Why did the rose go to the party on Valentine's Day?

Because it was a blooming good time