My dad's been working on his backyard patio for months, and I finally asked him when it would be finished.

He just smiled and said, 'When the patio is done, I'll be too old to use it.'

I asked my dad what his superpower was on Father's Day

He said it was his ability to turn any conversation into a discussion about the perfect grill temperature

My dad said he didn't need a thing for Father's Day this year.

But then he added, 'Unless you happen to know where my *other* tape measure is. The good one.'

I told my dad I was making him breakfast in bed for Father's Day

He said that's egg-cellent, but don't forget to adjust the thermostat, it's a little too toast-y in here