I asked my dad what his secret to a happy retirement was on Father's Day

and he said it's having a to-do list that's longer than his bucket list

I asked my dad why he still has my old report cards and sports trophies from when I was a kid, and he said

it's not that he's proud of my grades or my athletic skills, but because they're the only things I haven't borrowed money from him to pay for.

I got my dad a personalized grill set for Father's Day

Now he's branding everything, including the family dog

My dad has this amazing superpower where he can fall asleep in any chair, at any time, usually within seconds of sitting down.

I used to think he was just tired, but now I realize he's just recharging his 'Dad energy' so he can always be there for everything tomorrow.