I got my dad a smart grill for Father's Day, thinking it would make him the master of the backyard

Now he just uses it to burn burgers and prove that even technology can't fix his cooking

My dad's idea of retirement is

spending 40 hours a week in the garage, but now he's getting paid in satisfaction instead of a paycheck.

My dad's neighbors think he's a professional landscaper

but really he just has a lot of free time and a riding lawn mower

My dad said all he wanted for Father's Day was peace and quiet.

So I just let him mow the lawn in silence, because apparently, that's his version of a meditation retreat.