I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away...

...trying to read the tiny print on this candy heart.

I've been trying to find my perfect match on dating apps

but so far, it's just been a series of swipes, disappointment, and proof that my friends were wrong when they said I'm a catch

They say diamonds are forever, and chocolate melts in your mouth, not in your hand...

...but my preferred Valentine's gift is a streaming service that doesn't ask 'Are you still watching?' because it *knows* I am.

Why did the heart go to the doctor on Valentine's Day?

Because it had a few heartaches to work through and wanted a love-ly checkup