I've always thought marriage is a lot like a co-op video game.

You start off with your own individual objectives, then you quickly realize the only way to beat the level is to combine your resources, share the loot, and occasionally sacrifice your own character for the greater good – usually by letting your partner have the last slice of pizza.

Marriage is like a beautiful puzzle

because even when you lose a few pieces, you still have a great picture, and the groom has finally found someone who can put up with him trying to force the wrong pieces to fit

When my wife and I were dating, she used to say I was such a great listener, I'd often finish her sentences.

Now, I just finish her snacks.

We started planning our dream wedding with a modest budget and a simple guest list.

Then our parents got involved, and now we're just trying to find a second mortgage to cover the open bar.