Are you a Valentine's Day cookie? Because you're the crumb to my heart and I dough-n't want to be without you.

My Valentine's Day plans involve a very deep, very passionate relationship...

...with an entire pizza I don't have to share.

Why did the candy store owner love Valentine's Day?

Because it was a sweetheart of a deal.

I'm reading a book on Valentine's Day traditions

Apparently, it's all about love, romance, and pretending to like overpriced dinners.