I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked surprised.

Why did the calendar get invited to all the parties?

Because it had so many dates!

I was trying to learn a new song on my guitar the other day, spending hours practicing. My fingers were really starting to hurt from pressing down on all those strings and trying to get the melody just right.

It was quite a fretting experience!

I told my wife I was going to make a belt out of bread dough.

She said, "That's a waist of good bread!"