I love how marriage is all about finding common ground

now my wife and I both agree that the other person left the dishes in the sink

I've learned that marriage is all about finding creative ways to ask for permission

like, 'Honey, can I turn the thermostat down?' is actually just code for 'Can I still be in charge of something?'

I asked [Groom's Name] what he was most looking forward to about married life.

He said, 'Finally having someone to share all my hobbies with.' Bless his heart, he's about to discover a whole new world of *her* hobbies.

My wife and I have been married for ten years, and we've finally figured out who's responsible for what.

Turns out, we both think the other person is responsible for changing the toilet paper roll.