Are you a Valentine's Day coupon?

Because you're redeemable in my heart and I want to cash in on our love

I'm not arguing that Valentine's Day is overrated, but

I just think it's a holiday created by florists and jewelers to make singles feel like they're in a real-life game of 'Monopoly' – paying rent, but no one's getting a free park.

I've started calling Valentine's Day something new

Singles Awareness Day, but that's just a fancy way of saying Tuesday

Why did the coffee file a police report on Valentine's Day?

Because it got mugged by love