We designed our wedding seating chart with scientific precision.

Mainly to keep Aunt Carol and Uncle Bob in separate time zones.

We thought we were being frugal by having the wedding at home

Until we had to take out a second mortgage to accommodate the guest list and the therapist for my mother-in-law

We thought we'd found the perfect wedding venue

until we realized the 'romantic garden' was actually just the groundskeeper's enthusiastic weed collection

We wanted a small, intimate wedding.

Then we tried to trim the guest list and realized our definition of 'immediate family' included second cousins twice removed and everyone we'd ever met in line for coffee.