My idea of a 'starter home' is buying a large storage unit.

And just living in that.

I'm trying to follow the classic boomer advice to 'invest in real estate'

but the only property I can afford is a timeshare in my parents' basement

I told my manager I was feeling burned out from all the 'optional' overtime

and they said I just needed to 'want it more' – I'm starting to think they want me to want a stress leave

My boomer neighbor told me to 'invest in real estate.'

So I bought three new houseplants.