Our family's Thanksgiving dinner seating chart isn't about politeness or proximity to the food.

It's a strategic battlefield plan to minimize exposure to Uncle Steve's political theories and Aunt Carol's 'When are you getting married?' interrogation.

Why did the cranberry sauce go to therapy?

Because it was feeling a little jellied under the pressure

Why did the stuffing get invited to every party?

Because it was always so well-bread!

I love how my family's Thanksgiving dinner is supposed to be a judgment-free zone

but somehow my aunt always manages to fit in a critique of my life choices between the mashed potatoes and the green beans