What did the Christmas tree say to the Christmas tree decorator?

You're always stringing me along, but I'm pining for a simpler look this year.

Why was the Christmas tree in a good mood?

Because it was branching out and having a tree-mendous holiday season

What's the hardest part about celebrating the "Twelve Days of Christmas" in an apartment?

Trying to find enough room for twelve drummers drumming, let alone a partridge in a pear tree!

Why did the scarecrow win an award at the Christmas party?

Because he was outstanding in his field of holiday cheer