Why did the head elf always carry a ruler around the toy workshop?

To make sure everything was made to *elf-act* specifications.

Why did the Christmas tree go to the therapist?

Because it was feeling a little root-less and wanted to branch out.

Why did the North Pole factory implement a "bring your pet to work" day?

The elves needed some re-indeer-forcement.

Why did Santa hire a lawyer for the elves?

Because he heard them singing 'All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth' and wanted to make sure they got proper dental care!