I asked my parents for housing advice, and they said to just 'save up' and 'be patient',

which is like telling someone to 'just breathe' while they're drowning in student loans.

I'm really trying to get my finances in order.

But my most expensive hobby is currently 'being alive.'

I've been trying to practice mindfulness in therapy

but I keep finding myself pondering existential dread during meditation instead of my breath

My boss told me to 'manifest a positive outcome'

when I asked for a raise.