Why was the math book sad?

Because it had too many problems.

I decided to take my kids to the air show, and as we were watching the planes fly by, one of them asked me how pilots learn to navigate through the clouds. I told them it's all about getting a little

fog-getful of their surroundings

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field!

Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda pressing!