I've been working really hard to build my personal brand.

Turns out my personal brand is just 'tired.'

My financial advisor asked me about my long-term investments.

I told him, 'My houseplants. They're the only thing in my life consistently showing growth.'

I'm trying to buy a house, but the market is insane

I've got a better chance of winning the lottery than getting a mortgage with a payment that's less than my student loans

I was having an existential crisis about the future of humanity.

Then I remembered I have a group chat dedicated to complaining about rising gas prices, and suddenly everything felt a little more manageable.