My therapist said my avoidant attachment style keeps me from genuine connection.

So naturally, I've just been avoiding their emails.

My doctor asked me about my long-term health plan.

I told him, 'Well, if things don't pick up, I'm just researching the best prices for my organs.'

I finally feel like I'm really adulting.

I just paid rent and immediately felt the urge to take a nap on the floor.

I've been working on my financial literacy.

Mostly so I can understand *exactly* why I'll never own a home.