I went on a date with a guy who said he was a 'foodie' on his profile

But it turned out his culinary expertise was just eating an entire pizza by himself and calling it 'research'

I've figured out the secret to looking like a woman who has her life completely together.

It's owning one really good blazer and mastering the art of expertly hiding all your tiny existential crises underneath it.

He said he was looking for a woman who 'doesn't take herself too seriously' in his dating app bio.

I made one joke about his NFT collection, and suddenly I'm 'toxic.'

My main character energy is so strong, if I accidentally spill coffee on my shirt...

...I don't just grab a napkin. I freeze, look directly into a non-existent camera, and whisper, 'Is this... my life now?'