He put in his profile that he was 'over the drama' and wanted a 'no-fuss, chill' girl.

Then he spent our entire first date explaining why his last four relationships were 'crazy'.

My morning commute isn't just traffic.

It's the opening credits of my own indie film, complete with a custom soundtrack, dramatic lighting, and me staring pensively out the window, knowing that *this* is the montage where I find my true calling.

I lost my keys this morning and was running frantically late.

But instead of panicking, I just stood perfectly still, closed my eyes, and waited for the slow-motion flashback to reveal where I'd left them. It worked, almost too well.

I've started to realize that my self-care routine is just a series of expensive habits I've convinced myself are necessary for my well-being