My ghost photography business failed because I could never get a clear spirit.

I took my car into the shop the other day because it was making a weird knocking sound under the hood. The mechanic spent a long time listening carefully and checking all the hoses and belts.

He said he needed to do some intensive car-diology.

Why did the coffee file a police report?

Because it got mugged!

I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.