I just got feedback in my performance review that I need to 'soften my communication style.'

Apparently, 'Here's the problem, here's the solution, let's implement it' is now considered a hostile takeover bid.

I went to the DMV to renew my license, but I didn't just wait in line

I was waiting for my cue, rehearsing my lines, and perfecting my 'determined citizen' monologue for when they called my number

My boss told me he really appreciates my 'calm presence' and 'ability to stay composed' during chaotic team meetings.

I think that's just a nice way of saying 'her internal screaming is so impressively quiet, you can't even hear it through her forced smile.'

I've been trying to adult by creating a budget and tracking my expenses, but

it turns out I've just been categorizing my anxiety into different spreadsheet columns.