I was helping my kids with their science project, trying to grow crystals in a jar. We carefully mixed the solution and waited for what felt like forever for the crystals to form. As we were observing the jar, I started thinking about the process of crystal formation and how it's all about finding the right balance of ingredients and conditions.

I guess you could say it was a 'gem' of a project!

What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer.

I told my wife she was going to be a great musician, but she didn't believe me.

Now she's a maestro of disappointment, but I still think she's a note-worthy singer.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked surprised.