So I was at the coffee shop this morning, and the barista accidentally spilled some coffee all over the counter. He looked really flustered and apologized profusely.

I told him not to worry, because sometimes you just gotta *espresso* yourself.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked surprised.

I took my kids to the dentist, and we saw a toothbrush with a badge on it

I guess it was a 'brush' with the law

I'm trying to start a band, but it's been a real struggle to find a drumstick that's a cut above the rest.