I've been reading all these self-help books to improve my mental health

now my apartment is just a pile of unread books and unfulfilled potential

I asked my manager if I could stop coming to meetings that could've been emails, and they said

it's about 'being present' and 'synergy' – code for 'I don't trust you to actually read the email'.

I'm at the point where I'm considering a side hustle

to pay for the side hustle I already have to pay for my main job

My financial advisor asked me about my long-term investments.

I told him, 'My houseplants. They're the only thing in my life consistently showing growth.'