I asked my boomer dad for housing advice

He said 'just save up and put 20% down', which is like telling me to 'just buy a unicorn and ride it to work'

Our company's 'no meeting day' was so popular that

management decided to schedule a meeting to discuss how well it's going

I asked my boomer friend for investment advice

He told me to buy a house, I told him I'd rather buy a Lambo, at least then I'd have a vehicle to sleep in

My therapist asked if I did my journaling homework.

I said, 'Yes, I journaled about how I didn't want to do my journaling homework.'