I was feeling pretty sleepy this morning after staying up late last night. My son asked me why I looked so tired as I was pouring my coffee.

I told him, 'I guess I'm just feeling a little *depresso*!'

What do you call a belt made of watches?

A waist of time.

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta!

What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?

A Labracadabrador!