Your mom asked me to try and fix the coffee maker this morning, because it was really slow and sputtering. I tinkered with it for a bit, but it just wouldn't cooperate.

I guess it was still trying to perk up.

I'm a baker, and I'm feeling crumby today.

Why did the cat join a band?

Because it wanted to be the purr-cussionist

Why did the pencil go to the party?

To draw attention to itself.