Thanksgiving at our house is always a test of endurance.

First, you survive the family gossip, then you survive the tryptophan.

I told the turkey to come to the table with an attitude adjustment

but it was a little fowl-tempered

What did the stuffing say to the turkey?

You're the breadwinner of this meal, but I'm the one holding everything together!

The biggest mystery at our Thanksgiving dinner isn't how Aunt Martha made that gelatin salad.

It's whether the turkey or my cousin started crying first after someone asked about his career choices.