What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?

A dino-snore.

So I was at the coffee shop this morning, and the barista accidentally spilled some coffee all over the counter. He looked really flustered and apologized profusely.

I told him not to worry, because sometimes you just gotta *espresso* yourself.

I'm a baker, and I'm feeling crumby about my new diet.

Why did the mushroom get invited to all the parties?

Because he's a fungi!