I told my girlfriend she was amazing in bed, and she asked me to be more specific.

So I said, 'You're great at hiding the evidence, but sometimes I feel like I'm the one being investigated.'

I told my girlfriend I was thinking of taking up a new instrument.

She said, 'Why? You already have one, and you barely know how to play it yet.'

My wife said I need to be more hands-on around the house.

I told her I'm happy to help, but she usually wants me to 'drill down' in a very specific area.

My wife always tells me I'm terrible at home improvement projects.

But last night, she said I was really good at handling a stud.