My wife was complaining the other day. She said I never properly finish the job, always leaving things uneven and requiring her to pick up the slack, and that I really needed to work on my strokes to get a good, smooth coat.

She was talking about the new paint job in the living room, of course.

Why did the man get fired from the sperm bank?

He kept eating the samples.

I've been taking classes to improve my thrusting technique, and my instructor says I have a lot of potential for deep development.

My girlfriend told me she wanted to go on a really wild adventure in bed.

So I told her, 'Great, let's try not faking it this time.'