My girlfriend told me she wanted me to be more passionate and put more effort into our sex life.

I told her, 'Baby, I'm putting in all the effort *I've got*. You want more, you gotta start paying me.'

I've been seeing a professional massage therapist to work out some knots, and she's been teaching me how to apply the right amount of pressure, get deep into the muscle, and finish with a happy ending.

Why did the man bring a ladder on his second date?

He wanted to take things to the next level.

I've been dating a girl who's really into astrology, and she told me our love was written in the stars.

But honestly, I think our love life is more like a lunar cycle – it's all about the phases, and sometimes it's just a dark void for weeks.