Are you a Valentine's Day candy jar?

Because you're filled with sweetness and I want to get stuck on you!

I've come to realize that my love life is like a recipe for disaster.

It's got all the right ingredients: loneliness, disappointment, and a pinch of desperation.

My Valentine's Day plans are pretty romantic, actually.

It involves me, a blanket, and a very serious, committed relationship with my takeout menu.

Are you a Valentine's Day coupon book?

Because you're filled with discounts to my heart and I want to redeem our love