I tried to order a Valentine's Day dinner for one, but the restaurant had a special request

They asked if I wanted to upgrade to a pity party of two, with a complimentary side of tears

Why did the chocolate go to therapy on Valentine's Day?

Because it was feeling a little melted under the pressure

I've decided to treat myself on Valentine's Day

Because let's be real, I'm the only one who still thinks I'm a good catch

I'm celebrating Valentine's Day this year by

reorganizing my Netflix queue into 'alone and happy' categories.